Help at Home - Leslie & The Power of Your Ripple

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever had was if you are feeling low and depression is circling, go and do something for somebody else.

This proved to be a revelation. Single mother, Spring 2004 ish. Unable to find work that could fit with the school day or pay enough to cover child minding for a full one, I was struggling to keep momentum afloat and starting to sink when this gently encouraging observation was offered by a concerned friend. I arranged to visit the local volunteer agency soon after and, reviewing the many options with them, found the perfect charity for me - Help at Home. One day a week I would go and join them in either cutting back and reclaiming an overgrown garden or redecorating a room inside for the elderly or infirm.

It remains one of the best things I ever did. Good, hard effort, muscle tired instead of emotionally weary for one thing, but mostly, it was the satisfaction of seeing a dense, over crowded garden restored, or an aged or nicotine yellowed living room clean and bright. It never fails to amaze me just how much our surroundings can impact our mental and emotional health and witnessing the improvement every week was incredibly rewarding.

We had a few people drop in and out over the years, but my core team was Leslie, Edward and me. Leslie was employed by Help at Home so worked every day and lead the team. She was one of those almost frustratingly modest people who simply would not entertain any notion of you trying to impress upon her the scale of her own magnificence. Every week, Leslie would load supplies, Edward and me into the big Help at Home van and chatting enthusiastically, drive us to a selected address to work our collective magic. And every week, Leslie would run the day, working tirelessly herself whilst effortlessly putting an often anxious, lonely person at ease with having strangers in or around their home. It did not surprise me at all that when returning a following year, as we sometimes would, it would only be Leslie they remembered, speaking with her like she was a long time friend, or even family member.

To complete the team, there was Edward. Around 23 at this time, Edward was tall and strong, with Downs Syndrome so needed work that would give him a sense of purpose and where his needs could be accommodated and supported. Help at Home was perfect for him in those years and Leslie managed him with the same light hearted aplomb that she managed everyone.

Their banter was good natured and jovial with a handful of repeating in jokes that Edward seemed to delight in. He was such a great team member, working flat out from when we arrived until the time we were set to leave, laughing amiably.

This is the nature of charitable work that quietly goes on all across our country. Wonderful, generous humans helping each other out. A lonely person, offering tea in stained cups to people who have come to help them feel less unnoticed and uncared for.

The focus on Leslie somehow made the whole thing more profound for me – that I was able to be an anonymous helper, working in the background, quietly making a difference whilst at the same time enjoying the company was hugely fulfilling for me. Close friends knew what I got up to on Tuesdays, but it was not something I generally talked about. It was my own quiet contribution and heaven knows, it was only small. Nevertheless, my heart nearly burst when my then 6 year old son said when he grew up he wanted to help others just like I did. That my example inspired that in him blew me away – you never know how much they are watching, hey. It gives me huge joy to this day that Ben has indeed lived up to that promise to himself. He regularly does wonderful things to help others without fuss or fame.

I write this because I am thinking about pivotal moments, pivotal people. Leslie has gone now, on to wherever it is that we go, but I fondly cherish the memories of her that I am keeping here with me. The specifics fade with time, until only the vibration of a person remains.. a vague recollection of their laugh, how it felt to be with them, watching the impact they had on others. Leslie would not want you to know that much about her and would dismiss my telling you how valuable and wonderful she was, but there is no doubt in mind that she made a huge difference to many people’s lives, including mine, including indirectly, my son’s, including indirectly all those that he helps...and so it goes on. The ripple extends out so much further than we might imagine.

So I’m thinking about Leslie today and making myself this promise..to continue giving what I can, when I can.. and to be intentional about the ripple....